Television Writing

Here is another pointless post that no one will care about, but maybe by the end, people will give a tiny bit more respect to the hard work that television writers must endure.

I will start by saying I am no expert. All I do is read a lot and I soak in information about things I love and television is easily that. I'm obviously a terrible writer with no ability to write fiction at all but I greatly respect the people that can and try my best to study their craft to the best of my ability.

People do not understand how incredibly difficult it is to write just one script for a show, let alone 22-24 for an entire season. So, let's walk through some of the things that your lowly TV writer has to deal with.

Length: The script for a one hour television show is usually around 60 pages. 60 pages worth of dialogue, stage direction and character emotion. You college people remember how stressed you were when your 10 page papers were due for class? Try 60 pages that will be judged by millions of people. That's rough.

Of course, TV writing is a collaborative effort. Most popular shows have around 20 or so writers on the staff. The person that gets the writing credit at the beginning of the episode is the person that wrote the first draft. After that draft is written, it is combed over by the producers and other writers, taking out things, adding things and refining things to make the story flow as well as possible. Regardless of all the help, that one poor soul has to crank out a 60 page script with a good enough story to not just get thrown in the trash and then watch your work be mangled by 20-30 other people. I couldn't do that at all.

TV Running Time: There are two major areas where the writer has to constantly be aware. One are commercial breaks. There have to be a certain number of commercial breaks per episode and the writers have to make the whole story flow in just a way so that they leave the story in the perfect spot so the viewer can be taken away. You can't just write a good story how you want to. It is so highly structured and so many rules have to apply that it must be maddening.

Secondly, when the show ends. The script has to be written so nearly precise that the show doesn't run longer than 22 minutes or 44-48 minutes. Trying to write a good story, making the pacing just right, writing good, strong dialogue that will keep watchers attention, all with trying to cram it into such a precise space is a problem I couldn't even imagine coping with.

Stars: Many stars have written into their contracts that they have a certain number of lines or episodes that they appear in that season. Hypothetically speaking let's take the show "House" for a moment. (None of this is fact. This is just hypothetical but does tell how every show on TV works.) Let's say Omar Epps has in his contract that he needs about 200 minutes of face time during an entire season...or perhaps he has a line minimum. The writers must work around that, plus every other cast member on the show. They have to make sure that each star's contract is lived up to for every episode, and still construct that great story everyone wants to see.

Recurring Characters: Networks love recurring characters. Characters that pop in during a season and stay around for 4-6 episodes usually. Now the writers must take everything else I've stated above plus write a character that people will see for a long time and make them compelling. Always knowing that this person is only going to be around for...say...5 episodes. They have to write their entrance. They have to write a clever way for them to be interactive with the main cast and write them in a way to make them have chemistry, write through their story arch and then find an entertaining, plausible and non-pissoffish way for them to leave once their run is over.

Writing Time: Let's take "House" as another example. From their DVD release, I know that it takes them 8 days to purely shoot an episode. That is before post production; editing, special effects, re-dubs and things of that nature. That's just 8 days of shooting plus probably two weeks or more of post to get a show ready to air. So, let's take a look at the time we spend here. One episode, 8 days of shooting and 14 days of post production. That is 23 days for one show. And they usually have 22 episode seasons. You take those 23 days for one show and multiply by 22 episodes you come up with 506 days to complete a season.

Now obviously that is impossible seeing as there are only 365 days in a year, plus the show takes a 3 month break every year in the summer. So, obviously episodes are being produced concurrently. So, to take a 506 day schedule and compress that down into (roughly) a 297 day production schedule, writers have to be on their toes and their fingers have to be flying like crazy to get episodes out and ready to be shot.

Overview: Let's write a good episode. All we have to remember is to make an enriching story, that pushes along the show and highlights the main cast of characters. Plus we have to make sure it's about 60 pages so after it's written we have to go to about 3 different table reads to get things right. We have a lot of story to get through, but we have 44 minutes to do it in. Also, the lead star renegotiated his contract for 10% more viewing time so the love story arch between the two supporting characters has to be trimmed down and still find a way to make it believable and make it so the viewers care about it. But damn it, we have Heather Locklear coming in and running for 6 episodes so we have to set up her arch too and find a way to get her out at the end. And I have to do this all in about a week and a half time. SHOULD BE FUN!

The things I just said above are not accurate but relative enough to give you an idea of what it takes to get words for your favorite characters to say.

When you complain about how your favorite show isn't as good as it once was, or that a show completely sucks, just remember what it takes to get the show on the air in the first place. Writing an episode isn't like sitting down to write a short story. You have so many things to juggle all at once that it's amazing to me any people could take up this profession.

There's some time you'll never get back and I own it now. Suck it internets.

PS: Not proofread and written at 4am. Probably mistakes galore. I'm not fixing them. Live with it!